Calder: Arrive.

You emerge to the grand fairway. Scattered around the large playing field are obstacles as numerous as they are fanciful and dignified. You believe you have designed the perfect set of challenges and patience-enduring feats to truly make your perhaps final game of GRANDILOQUENT GARDEN CROQUET XVIII hold the shot of a lifetime.

You like to stick to the 18th iterations ruleset the most out of current 24 available for play. Most trolls who participate in events tend to switch over to the newer styles, but to you they just don't retain the same kind of majesty found within the earlier catalogue.

They should have stopped while they were ahead, because your planet has pretty much run out of ideas for everything.