You are now the Diegetic Dictator, and in the time since you accepted your plea deal, you have found yourself leisurely strolling down a more civilized and respectable career path.
You've always been complimented on your soothing voice, so you figured you'd give the world of radio a try. Sure, you started at the bottom, worked late night broadcasts and substituted for sick hosts here and there. However, when the audience knows what they want, they demand it in droves, and that's how you ended up with your own dedicated timeslot. It seems your inflection truly is like butter to the carapacian ear.
Speaking of, you just finished your union-mandated break. You ought to get back on air.