Your name is LAIVAN FERROO.
You were born with a RARE AND QUITE SEVERE LUNG CONDITION, due to a mishap in your REDUPLICATION PROCESS — your lungs are a few sizes TOO SMALL, which makes it hard for you to string long sentences together or partake in any sort of intense physical activity.
ACUTE LACK OF BREATH is a very serious issue to you.
Not that this stops you from giving those ventures a shot regardless. In fact, you spend a majority of your time hunting BIG GAME with your trusty custodian, MUTT. You like to think of yourself as quite the SHARPSHOOTER, when it comes down to it — if not in terms of raw gun-toting skills, then at least in the total positive net-worth of your firing attempts.
Which is to say, you've had a number of HORRIBLE ACCIDENTS involving your RIFLE and stray BULLETS, but one of those incidents ended up changing your life for the better — significantly so, considering it led to you meeting a very SPECIAL SOMEONE, and you're both far happier for it. Or so her preferred method of framing the situation goes.
You also enjoy performing TAXIDERMY on the animals you take home, turning them into STATUES, TROPHIES and ASSORTED KNICK KNACKS which you then SELL ONLINE FOR A LIVING. You're not sure why anyone is interested in buying the stuff you make — it's all just for fun — but hey, you're not going to say no to financial compensation. Especially when you're always running out of glue.
Oh, and you're pretty avidly into KNOT TYING, you guess. Just as a fun pastime. You're TERRIBLY BAD AT IT and just end up leaving a majority of the tangles you make lying in the corner over there.
Other than that, you enjoy GAMING with your friends. You're personally more into the classic titles than any of the fancy new releases that have been consistently pumped out in recent sweeps — call you old school, but the notion of a virtual simulation WARPING REALITY AROUND YOU kind of freaks you out a little. As such, even though you DID rank at the top of the leaderboards in a game of this nature with an OLD FRIEND, the aging ANTHROPORMUNCIPALITY remains a big guilty pleasure of yours to this day.
The message it tries to hammer into everyone's skulls doesn't really stick the landing when it's coupled with a polygonal mess of multicolored, vaguely lusii-like player avatars glitching all over the place.
And that's exactly why you love it so much. The hamfisted, poor presentation has a certain lo-fi charm to it, you think.
Your trolltag is windlessArtificer and you Speak in a measured way that lets you breathe- when it's needed-
What will you do?